Health Nut

I wrote earlier in the week about New Year’s resolutions and how I usually don’t make them. I did make one general resolution this year, however, and that is to be healthier – with both food and exercise.

But it turns out being healthy isn’t as simple as it used to be. It used to be pretty straightforward – exercise and cut back on fattening foods. Now, there is a whole niche of books offering advice and tips on how to stay and be healthy.

Don’t eat wheat. Don’t eat carbs. Don’t eat sugar. Don’t eat gluten. (Don’t EAT!) Only eat during a six hour window. Try juicing. Eat only protein. Eat raw vegetables. Cut out dairy. Supplement with vitamins. Supplement with shakes. Do an eight-day fast.

Which makes my goal of ”stop eating Doritos” seem a little unambitious.

After a search on Amazon, all I got out of the endeavor was that you should drink water, eat lots of blueberries (I forget why), and that pomegranates are superfoods.

12 Health and Fitness Mistakes You Don’t Know You’re Making.

The Healthy Green Drink Diet.

300 Recipes for Plant-Based Eating.

The Starch Solution.

Power Food for the Brain.

Why you DON’T Want to Lose Weight!

Get Down to 150 – Finally, Healthy, Natural Foods for Busy Women to Melt Fat Without Dieting or Insane Exercise So You Can Fit Into Those Skinny Jeans in 3 Simple Steps.

OK…I’m already tired.

And don’t get me started on the exercise books:

You are Your Own Gym.

7 Weeks to 100 Push-ups.

Muscle Explosion.

Lose Weight Without Dieting (Animal Kingdom Workouts).

Slim Calm Sexy Yoga.

The Complete Guide to Navy Seal Fitness.

Kettlebells for Women. 

Hmm…Navy Seal fitness might be a little too advanced. And kettlebells kind of scare me. The only title that sounded remotely like me was:

Cranky Fitness: Exercise your @%# off.

Pardon my literature.

Today’s moral of the story is, if something sounds way too hard, it probably is. That is, you’re making a simple thing way too hard. So keep that in mind when making overblown spiritual resolutions.

…Because there are books for that too:

13 Keys to Christ Consciousness.

Steps to Freedom in Christ: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You.

Basics of Verbal Aspect in Biblical Greek.

The Death of Death in the Death of Christ: A Treatise in Which the Whole Controversy About Universal Redemption is Fully Discussed.

and, my favorite,

Saving Jesus from the Church: How to Stop Worshiping Christ and Start Following Jesus.

Yeah, we know what they meant.

All Jesus says is, “follow me.” Put down your life and follow me in to 2013.

The rest is all Greek.

Which leads me to:

My Big Fat Greek Diet: How a 467-Pound Physician Hit His Ideal Weight and You Can Too.

The Maker’s Diet.

The Creator’s Diet.

The What Would Jesus Eat: Cookbook, and

Holy Cow! Does God Care About What We Eat?


Hmm…I’ll let you know when I’m done with my Doritos.