Stop Saying

I hate to break it to you, but the era of Say Anything is so 1980s. These days there is a host of things you can’t say:

10 things not to say to parents with kids. 10 things not to say to single people. 10 things not to say to parents of adopted kids. 10 things Christians should stop saying. Things you should stop saying to working moms. 8 things you should stop saying to dads.  10 things to stop saying about working out. 15 things to stop saying to people with chronic illnesses. 8 things we need to stop saying to people in long distance relationships.

All I can think is, Man. When did America get so bossy?

The list goes on…

11 Things You Should Stop Saying to Introverts.

Things to Stop Saying in 2014.

Things to Stop Saying after 30.

22 Things You Should Never Say to A Girl

10 Things You Should Never Say to a Woman.

10 Things Guys Never Want to Hear you Say.

10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids.

14 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Pastor

6 Things Worship Leaders Should Stop Saying

12 Things Not to Say to a Musician

6 Things Rich People Should Stop Saying

118 Things You Should Never Say to a Cop. (Understandably, this was a long list.)

10 Things You Can’t Say While Following Jesus. (Pretty sure there’s more than 10.)

These are all real. So if you find yourself in any of these categories… just stop it guys! I was going to elaborate on some of these, but I ran into a list of 25 Things Writers Should Stop Doing and got distracted.

Why doesn’t someone make a useful list, like 246 Things Politicians Should Stop Saying or 4,116 Telemarketers Should Stop Saying?

Not only do we need to stop saying a bunch of stuff, apparently we don’t understand other people’s problems. Problems only waitresses understand. Problems only cat owners understand. 21 problems only tall people will understand. 19 problems only girls with long hair will understand. 31 problems pale people will understand. 10 problems only wrestling fans will understand. 6 problems only people with pugs will understand.

When they do an time capsule of 2014, the historians will say of us, “They spent a lot of time trying to understand things and doing Zimbio quizzes.”

Are we Americans getting smarter for any of this?

I don’t know.

It’s probably one of the things you’re not supposed to say.

You know, #FirstWorldProblems, like 11 Things You Should Never Tell Your Man and Which State Should You Actually Live In?

When single people put out ads, they should say “My earth element is Air. I’m a lion whose actual profession should be an environmental lobbyist most like Obi Wan Kenobi who lives in a bungalow in Barcelona. Must love the 1960s.”

If you understand this article, like me, you probably spend way too much time on the internet.

Go back to your selfies and hashtags and quit sending cosmic questions into the universe like “What’s your road trip style?” and “Which Lego set are you?”

It’s one of the things we should probably stop saying.