A Jolly Holiday

I’m in the mood for a holiday. And I don’t think I can make it till June.

Memorial Day is coming up. But there have to be things to celebrate today. So I went online and found a list of American holidays that seem to get overshadowed by patriotism and that bossy Cinco de Mayo.

You can thank me  later.

Drumroll, please!

The good news is, we can all start celebrating…now.

May 1 is…Mother Goose Day   Is this the day where we all share our favorite nursery rhymes? Because “Ring Around the Roses” is about the bubonic plague, people. And “Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary” was about the guillotine.

Then again, those could be nasty rumors spread by Dr. Suess fans.

May 2 is…Fire Day   This holiday needs some more explaining. Are we celebrating fire or educating ourselves about fire? One leads to arson the other to Smokey the Bear.

May 4 is…Star Wars Day.   It’s. About. Time! Finally, a holiday about something useful! May the 4th be with us.

(It really is an actual holiday. If you don’t believe me, ask the nearest Jedi.)

May 8 is…No Socks Day   I think if you’re wearing socks, you should take them off. We should tie them together and make a chain of hope. We can circle round the office, thinking about world peace, and memories we’ve made in the socks. Don’t break the chain, man…don’t break the chain.

May 10 is…Clean Up Your Room Day   Boo! Worst holiday ever.

May 11 is…Eat What You Want Day   There’s only one day for this? This is one holiday I think I should have its own month, like Breast Cancer Awareness month.

May 13 is…Leprechaun Day   This holiday seems confused, like it’s in the wrong month. But no one’s complaining about a little guy who brings good luck and hides pots of gold.

May 16 is…Love a Tree Day.   Because Earth Day wasn’t enough. And how do you love a tree, really?

Carving your initials just seems…counterproductive.

May 18 is…Visit Your Relatives Day   Ugh. Which relatives? And how long do I have to visit? Mom, she’s poking me! If I have to stop this car one more time…

May 24 is…National Escargot Day   For those of you who don’t know what escargo is, it’s a dish of cooked land snails, usually served as an appetizer in France and in French restaurants.

Which seems a little unpatriotic, three days before Memorial Day, don’t you think? On Memorial Day you can think about all the innocent snails that had to die, just so we could have a holiday.

May 27 is…Body Painting Arts Festival   If you find a town that is celebrating this, will you please let me know?

May 29 is…Learn About Composting Day.   Yawn.

Who thought of this one? I bet they work for the government.

If none of these appeal to you, May is also Date Your Mate Month and Fungal Infection Awareness Month.

Not saying those two go together.

Then again, it may depend on your mate.

So who wants to join me?

I believe today is May Day or Save the Rhino Day – you get to choose.

It’s also Loyalty Day, so to all of my loyal blog readers…thank you!

June is Candy Month, and Roses Month, so you can show your appreciation then.

(It’s also Fight the Filthy Fly Month, but that doesn’t have anything do to with my blog.)

I hope wherever you are, today is a jolly holiday.

All around the mulberry bush
The monkey chased the weasel…

The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.

If you want to tweet that, go right ahead.

And happy May Day.