After a lot of thought, I have decided there are 20 Types of People You Meet on Social Media.
Call this post “The People of Facebook” if you will…
I’m sure you may recognize some of the characters in people you know:
PhotoMom – The person who documents every. minute. in the life of their kids or pets.
RudieFoodie – The person who posts something they’re eating at least once per day.
Mr. Hashtag – #toomanyhashtags #hashtagstonowhere #hashtagsthatareridiculouslylong #youstopreadingafteracertainpoint
Ms. Meme – She never met a meme she didn’t like. (At least they’re usually positive and filled with unicorns?)
CrypticTweeter – “Important day. Havin too much fun. Waiting on a call….” (We’d love to be happy for you if we only knew what you were talking about.)
@OneManShow – The person who only posts pictures of their own airbrushed life and never comments on anyone else’s.
Way Too Serious Sports Fan – Post the rally cry of the opposing team and he will take you down. On your own wall, no less.
Chip Check-in – Just checked in at Ruby Tuesday’s. Just checked in a Culver’s Rodeo. Just checked in at Walgreen’s Photo Dept….he may as well have a tracking device on.
Mr. I Fight With Strangers, Jr. – OK, there ought to be a rule about picking fights with people you don’t know on other people’s Facebook wall. Want to take this message outside?
Awkward Tagger – Get surprised by a photo op and have food hanging out of your mouth? Did your behind accidentally photobomb a picture? Don’t worry, this clueless friend will tag you in it.
Mr. Shameless Promoter – “Check out my cousin’s lawncare business while listening to my wife’s band, liking my friend Dianna and following me on Twitter! Please like this photo of my sister’s dog!”
Ms. Do-I-Know-You? – You know, that person you don’t really know, who always comments on your statuses?
Aunt UnrelatedComments – When you finally manage to think of a great post and your relative ruins it by asking “Are you coming to Liz’s shower?? Miss you!”
Uncle Caps – WHY THE POSTS ARE ALL IN CAPS?? IS THERE A REASON OR DID YOU JUST LEAVE THE CAPS LOCK ON?
Ms. Dirty Laundry – “Blessed to have friends who truly support me! So happy I’m with the love of my life and not my ex!!! Last year was the worst year of my life – so glad to FINALLY have found an amazing partner!!” Oy.
Ms. Know-it-all – Post something on breast-feeding? She’ll correct you and tell you why it’s wrong. Is your child gluten-free? She’ll explain why food allergies are misdiagnosed. People would love to tell her how annoying she’s being, but…at the end of the day, they don’t want to get into an argument.
Mr. and Mrs. PDA – “Can’t wait for my smoking hot husband get home! : )))) Hey hottie, how about a date on Tuesday night?” How about you…text that stuff so it doesn’t appear in my newsfeed 24-7. Eeesh.
Mr. Conservative / Mrs. Liberal – That person you’ve almost had to unfriend because they don’t realize this is not the comments boards of CNN Politics.
Mrs. I-don’t-realize-my-Candy-Crush-and-Spotify-are-spamming-everyone – *Sigh.*
And #20 is…
Well, that’s Facebook for you. I’m sure “authors who promote their blog on FB” are somewhere up there too.
Love it or hate it….It’s 2015. Welcome to the zoo.
When it comes to Facebook, don’t pet the animals.